Pseudo-Astrologos, or The Spurious Prognosticator Unmasked

ΨΕΥΔΟ-ΑΣΤΡΟΛΘΓΟΣ. OR, THE SPURIOUS PROGNOSTICATOR UNMASKED.

BEING A ſhort EXAMEN of the manifold Errors and Fallacies, Falſhoods and Flatteries, Publiſhed by Mr. W. LILLY, In his MERLIN 1659.

Wherein his Ignorance in Aſtrology is explained and exploded; His ſcandalous girdings at the King of Denmark, Duke of Brandenburgh, and the States of Holland, Noted; his Nefarious dealing with the late Lord Protector of England, and the King of Sweden, diſcovered; His Impudent, Arrogant and Artleſs Aſſertions, Retorted and Refuted.

By G. J. a Lover of Art and Honeſty.

Humanum eſt errare: Jacere belluinum: perſeverare diabolicum.

LONDON, Printed in the Year 1660.

ΨΕΥΔΑΣΤΡΟ'ΓΟΣ. OR, The Spurious Prognoſticator, &c.

MAſter William Lilly being a perſon (by the vulgar ſort) believed to be the moſt famous Aſtrologer that ever yet appeared on the Engliſh Stage: In his Merlin, 1656. he witneſſeth the ſame of himſelf, thus—We (ſaith he) have been a ſervant to the unthankful; we have ſhared in honour and diſhonour: Notwithſtanding all which—we have had all along ſince 1644. as general and full a Practice in all the known parts of Aſtrology, as ever any man of this Nation.

I ſhall not Comment upon this his Notorious Boaſt, nor Queſtion whether his deſerts have been as worthy, as his Practice large. Neither ſhall I trouble my ſelf with noting any of his former failings (unleſs Collaterally) which may (I queſtion not, upon a ſtrict examen) equal the hairs of his head for number; though I preſume it would be not an affront, but favour unto Aſtrology ſo to do. Yet, Notwithſtanding his great fame and [ſuppoſed] great skill, I may (I hope) be bold to retort the Errours of his this years Merlin upon him, becauſe he hath therein ſo notoriouſly deviated from Art, and ſo prodigiouſly eſcandalized the ſame.

If that Great Artiſts for to Sin be bold,

I ſee no reaſon but they ſhould be told.

Now that I may proceed Methodically, I ſhall conſider, (1.) This (ſuppoſed) Great Artiſt's Epiſtle. (2.) His General Judgements. (3.) His Monethly Fictions.

Sect. 1. I ſhall begin with his Epiſtle. And would gladly be informed by what Authority, Aſtrological, or otherwiſe, he is ſo bold, as to Queſtion or beſpatter the Duke of Brandenburgh's Title? (2.) Out of what Record (ſetting aſide Mother Shipton, and ſuch like Authorities, he can prove the King of Swede not only a Northern Lyon, but a Northern Lyon Rampant? (3.) What Aſtrological Text favours him to predict—That Carolus Guſtavus the great [if the God of Battels honour him with the Royalty of Denmark, and good footing in Elector William his Dominions] ſhall prove a ſure ſanctuary to the Proteſtants? And why either of the other (if the God of Battels prove adjuvant to them) ſhall not prove a Sanctuary as ſure, and as great unto the Proteſtants, as Carolus Gustavus the great? they all being of one Faith or Religion. (4.) Whether there be a text in Chriſtian Aſtrology to encourage Mr. L. to ſay ſo confidently—It is as true as truth it ſelf—when the League betwixt England and Sweden is diſſolved, then farewel the proſperity of the Engliſh Nation? (5.) Whether ſuch Aſtrology (if Mr. L. will have it ſo baptiz'd) be not more likely to ſow the ſeeds of diviſion among Princes and Nations, and ſet them ſooner and ſurer together by the ears, then any way uphold the honour of that Art Mr. L. pretends to be ſo great a Proficient in?

Had ſuch Errours and Ignorances (for ſuch they muſt be, ſince the Art they are father'd on diſclaims them) been Publiſh'd by ſome Novice in Art, that had not been much known in the world, they had done the leſs miſchief. But for one that looks upon himſelf as a fam'd Artiſt, and is commonly (though how much undeſervedly, you plainly ſee) believed to be ſo; Nay, one that writes himſelf (though as fondly as falſly,)—Chriſtianæ Astrologiæ propagator fidiſſimus! for ſuch a one, to be guilty of ſuch groſs jugling, and moſt apparent flatteries, it doth not onely intolerably blemiſh the Art, but prejudices many honeſt Profeſſors thereof,—as Mr. Booker, Wharton, Wing, Tanner, &c. who when they but hear thoſe pitiful ſtories of their (pretended) foreman mentioned, it cannot but ſtrike them into the thoughts of a juſt indignation againſt him.

Omne Animi vitium tanto conſpectius in ſe

Crimen habet, quanto major qui peccat habetur.

The Eminenter he that doth amiſs,

So much his ſin, the more notorious is.

But cui fini? to what end do I turn Queſtioniſt to Mr. L. when all that know him, know it is not his guiſe to ſatisfie any? Let their demands be what they will, he is not concerned, though his reputation lye at the ſtake never ſo much—Tell not me (ſaith he) of every Dogs barking at me; I have a ſalve to cure all again. Let Mr. L. go on, and tell the world that he hath begun a new manner of Aſtrology amongſt us, and that he walks in thoſe uncouth ways that no former Author found; And crack with lying Lucretius at large, viz.

A via Signorum peragro loca nullius ante ^[1]

Trita Solo;—

In th' midd'ſt of Heavens Signs, I trace a way,

That no man found before me to this day.

Nay, if he invade the World with a Million more of ſuch like hyperbolical fictions and fooleries, ought he not to be beleeved? When Delphos was in faſhion, were any ſo bold, or fool-hardy as to urge a reaſon from their Oracle? And muſt it not (in Mr. L's thoughts) be unjuſt for any to urge him to a reaſon of what he writes or obtrudes upon the World? In his thoughts, did I ſay? Nay, in his Merlin, 1655. he plainly tells his Readers—That he will from thenceforth give no Aſtrological Reaſons [when, or where, I pray Sir, did you ever give any?] he having been too Copious unto an unthankful Generation of men; who might have been everlastingly in their A. B. C. without his aſſiſtance. (—Proprio laus ſordet in ore.) Certainly ſuch boaſts could not but much perſwade with many people, that Mr. L. is every whit as able as he proclaims himſelf, did they not ſurely know it to be the property of empty Hogſheads to ſound the loudeſt. I ſee not in reaſon how he can be ſaid to bring others out of their A. B. C. whoſe onely skill is not removed a hairs bredth beyond great F. viz. Flatteries. And ſo I paſs from his Epiſtle to his Book.

Sect. 2. In his General Judgements, pag. 2. he acquaints us—That now the effects of the Comet 1572. draw neer to a manifestation upon what Kingdom or Country of Europe they will pour down their Influence—The conſideration of which, hath occaſioned him to wander more then he intended concerning the Swediſh King and his Atchievments, &c.—I ſhall not much Queſtion the ſence of the former part of theſe words, although they ſound very Anti-Grammatically, Yet methinks if Comets have effects (which ſome very learned deny, and Mr. L. cannot prove, unleſs we will be contented with his Aſſertives for Probatives,) they ſhould not continue 87. years; but like thoſe of Eclipſes or great Conjunctions, only remain until another of the ſame kind come, and put a period unto its threatned Effects.

According to which Doctrine, this Comet (which hath cauſed Mr. L. to wander ſo much from the Art he pretends to) ſhould have ended its Effects in 1618. for then there appeared another. But to make ſence of Mr. L's words, he took not the Comet, but K. of Sweden, &c. to be the cauſe of his wandring. And then the Antecedent to the Relative [wandring] ſtands in the place of the Conſequent; and ſo he becomes (nevertheleſs) Guilty, of an Irrhetorical [〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉]. but it matters not much for ſence, Art, or Scholarſhip; ſo we find but feignings and flatteries good ſtore in Mr. L. his learned works, we have what we can thence rationally expect.

But he goes on and predicts further—That the work deſigned by that Comet, he finds is great, and ſuch, that neither one man or age, ſhall ſcarcely afford matter plentiful to begin its operation.—A ſecond John Baptiſt is required. He findes the work, &c. is great. He can find any thing to be ſmall or great at his pleaſure; he can make a Mountain of a Molehil, and a Molehil of a Mountain again; he can Magnifie, and diminiſh, without the aſſiſtance of the Optiques, ad libitum; ſo excellent a workman is learned Mr. Lilly! But doth Mr. L. hope to gain Credit among Ingenious men for ſuch Aſtrology as this? A Comet (by his own confeſſion) that ſtir'd up the K. of Swede againſt the Dane, &c. And yet now he finds (after a ſecond ſtaring, it ſeems,) that neither a Man or Age, ſhall afford plentiful matter to begin its operation! Riſum teneatis amici? Nay, doth not Mr. L. like a ſullen Cow kick down (with his diſdainful heel) all the good Meal of Milk, that before he produced for the K. of Swede? I hope Mr. L. when he complains of a paucity of plentiful Matter, doth not mean, but that the K. of Swede had reaſon in abundance to Invade the Polander and Dane! And being ſtir'd up againſt them by the influence of this Comet twatled of, I ſee no reaſon Mr. L. hath to complain for want of plentiful matter to begin its operations. And if they be already begun, I would demand of Mr. L. what need we have of a ſecond John Baptiſt to expound the Riddle? I have heard a ſtory of a Souldier with a wooden-leg? who being ſuppoſed to have a good one ſhot off, his friends ſeeing him fall, called out preſently for a Chyrurgeon. Oh! quoth the Souldier (being better acquainted with his want) 'tis no matter for a Chyrurgeon, a Carpenter may ſerve the turn. All the uſe that I ſhall make of it here, is this,—that to expound thoſe forged effects of Comets, and their tedious duration, requires not a ſecond John Baptiſt,—A Lilly or Mother Shipton may do it. And ſo I proceed to his next contradiction.—We cannot or dare we (ſtill you ſee, he hath Pigs in his belly) poſitively determine this preſent Magnanimous K. of Sweden, to be that very Perſon, or that ſo great Northern Lyon, who ſhall do ſuch wonders as have been of old Propheſied. And why not Sir? as well, as to maintain him to be, A Northern Lyon Rampant? But Mr. L. ſince the relieving Copenhagen hath changed his Opinion; for in his Merlin, 1657. he poſitively affirmed this K. of Sweden was the man Propheſied of, by (thoſe Divinely illuminated Cheatees,) the Sybils. Yet here he dareth not do it. Thus you ſee Mr. L. may affirm, and not affirm, or dare ſo to do, &c. he may indeed do any thing, by Priviledge. But yet it is a very raw and ſilly conceit of Mr. L. to think to write ſuch notorious contradictions, and not to be noted and eſteemed for them, as he deſerves. Shall we believe him to be an Artiſt, that changes his humor juſt as the Times turn? or ſhall we not rather take him for an Arch-Temporizer? and one that makes uſe of an Art to cover and cloke his ignorance and flatteries? Had Mr. L. believed his Art to be indubitably real, we ſhould have found him certain ſomewhere; but he poor man! Lyſps and Jabbers, Shuffles and Cuts, after ſo ridiculous a manner, as if he were as little acquainted with Art as honeſty.

But it is not againſt Reaſon (ſure) for a man to demand of Mr. L. his reaſon for not poſitively affirming here, the ſame thing, that (with as great confidence as ignorance) he did two years ſince. Doth the M. C. ad ▪ ♄ in the K. of Swede's Nativity deter him? Or hath he all the reward he expects? If the firſt, 'tis but finding a tranſit (in his Aſtrology) to rancounter that, as in 1658. he did, in theſe words—Live moſt valiant Swediſh King, thy Generals, &c. and be as ſucceſsful as Anglicus deſires; And then you are promiſed two ſeveral Victories neer this Moneth.—Non obſtante Medium (Medio, it ſhould rather have been, but that his Aſtrology and Latin are both of a ſtamp) Cœli ad Corpus Saturni, &c. If the later, cannot you ſend to him for the other Gold Chain, and acquaint his Majeſty,—That it is beneath the dignity of your high-fam'd Pen, to ſpend its precious Ink Sine pretio, or for a mean reward; and one Gold Chain is too little for a Perſon of your fame to be guilty of ſo great Impoſturiſm, as to forfeit (as much as in you lies) the honour and future glory of ſo ſplendid an Art, that you by profeſſion pretend unto?

Well, to paſs this,—Let us trace Mr. L. a little further, and we ſhall find,—Though he dare not poſitively affirm this K. of Sweden to be the man or Conquerour, &c. yet, that his own Motto—Sero ſapit ingratus, may not bite too hard upon his reputation, and he be noted to do nothing for ſo worthy a preſent, as the Gold Chain he received; In his confident ignorant Dialect, he runs on,—Thus much we affirmatively ſay—That the preſent Carolus Guſtavus ſhall prepare much matter towards the advancement of his Succeſſors, for ſo great Atchievments in all parts of Europe, And that the name of this Conquerour ſhall be, Charls, and of the Swediſh Nation, and off-ſpring of this Carolus Guſtavus, &c.

Mira canunt, ſed non credenda Poetæ.

Things wonderful to ſing is Lilly's Guiſe;

But Credit none of them, if you be wiſe.

In his Merlin 1657. he affirmed Carolus Guſtavus now Reigning, to be the Northern Lyon or Conquerour, &c. And yet here he affirms, That not this, but another of his race, ſhall be the man. Let him but reconcile theſe diſlocated Predictions, and I ſhall believe him able alſo, to make good this Poſition.

Nilintrà est oleam; nihil extrà est in nuce duri.

Within the Olive ['tis beyond all doubt,]

There's nothing hard, Nor of the Nut without.

The moſt Chimerical Fanſie or Fiction in the World, is every whit worthy as much Credit, as ſo notorious and broad-fac'd a Contradiction. If Mr. L. from his great Patroneſſes the Sybils, in 1657. ſpake truth,—Then this preſent Charls, and not another, muſt be the man. If Mr. L. ſpeak truth now, then the Sybils and he were beſides the truth in 1657. And is not this moſt excellent Chriſtian Aſtrology! The K. of Swede, ſhall be, and yet he ſhall not be the Conquerour!

Dic quibus in terris, & eris mihi magnus Apollo.

Great Sir! but tell me, how both may be true,

And take Apollo's Bayes to be your due.

When Mr. L. can make the two Members of a contradiction accord, he may (I ſuppoſe) make good theſe his wild and extravagant Aſſertions. Howbeit Mr. L. deems it but Reaſonable, that he be believed in what he ſays, let it be never ſo contrary to truth, or contradictious in it ſelf; he being (as he ſuppoſes) Princeps Aſtrologorum. And what is he that ſhall dare to do the contrary? however, I ſhall run the hazard of Mr. L's Cenſure in this kind for once; and demand by what Authority Sybillical, Cabalistcal or other, he is warranted to deſign the name of this great Conquerour to be Charls, &c.

The Stars name none, and ſurely Mr. Lilly,

In ſaying they do, proclaims himſelf moſt Silly.

The Names of Perſons are ſuch contingent things, that it were (conſidering their dependence upon the humors of conceited Goſſips, whoſe wills and fanſies are the ſole and alone diſpoſers thereof) a reaſonleſs thing to force Aſtrology to father them. But I the leſs wonder at his refuſing to render Reaſons of what he Annually obtrudes upon the underſtandings of men; becauſe he cannot but be ſenſible that his Merlins or Almanacks, are onely as Shops or Warehouſes furniſhed with the worſer ſort of Drugs, and Rif-raff; himſelf ſtanding in the midſt of them, juſt as Horace deſcribes his Petty-Chapman.

Vilia vendentem tunicato Serula popello.

Active in ſelling, to the vulgar man,

His traſh [for truth,] at ſmall Price (if he can.)

The learned I am out of doubt know Mr. L's ſhifts, and pityful effeminate evaſions; the Ignorant in time may diſcover them.

In pag. 8. Mr. L. tells us,—This vernal Figure of Heaven promiſeth the Lord Protector of England very fair, from his Allies beyond Sea. But how dares Mr. L. (unleſs he dare do any thing) raiſe a judgement either upon the Lord P. or any elſe, from a Scheme ſo notoriouſly untrue? Nothing leſs then 41[•]. of time diſtant from the truth; as is demonſtrated by Mr. Wing in his [〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉] for the ſame year; with whom agree moſt others. And is it not a pretty Riddle, that Mr. L. which fails thus in the ordinary Principles of the Art [viz. 41 min. of time in ſuch a Figure wherein an Artiſt cannot be too preciſe] ſhould be accounted the onely Father and Reſtorer of Aſtrology? But the Aenigma is explained; did not Mr. L. every year Claw the great Ones by the ſhoulders, his cunning would not by many degrees be ſo much in requeſt above the ordinary Almanack-makers, as his skill is below them.

But he, at his high-rated confidence goes on, predicting that—The Princes of the Earth are very fierce one againſt the other; Nothing but War, Deſtruction, Death, utter Ruine of one another, will give them ſatisfaction. And yet he Pipes out nothing but Honour, Renown, Conqueſt and Victory, to the L. P. of England, and K. of Sweden; as if they were quite out of the Number of the Princes of the Earth! And on the contrary, by the Princes of the Earth, he intends onely the Kings of Denmark, and Poland, &c. Anglice, ſuch as engage againſt the greatneſs of Sweden. But ſurely had any other Aſtrologer predicted prejudice, or ought elſe at ſo wild a rate, (as Mr. L. here doth) concerning Princes; Mr. L. would have been the firſt man that ſhould have ſaluted him with,—

[〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉].

Ah! Flattering Knave! Clad with high Impudence.

But I ſpare Mr. L. although his Preſages hang together, velut ægri ſomnia,—like ſick mens dreams, and are not by the wiſeſt head to be reconciled.

Now Mr. L. having ſpent his pains (to as little purpoſe as you have heard) in predicting things to depend on the Figure of the Suns Ingreſs; is come to the Moons Eclipſe in April.—And tells us—That it begins at 6 h. 22 min. P. M. and ends at 9 h. 20m. whence (ſaith he) the duration thereof, is 3 h. 15 min. But had Mr. L. been pleaſed to have proved his operations, he might have found, that from ſuch a beginning and end as he aſſigns, ſuch a duration could not poſſibly Emerge; But on the contrary, 2 h. 58 min. Which groſs Ignorance in ſo ordinary and common a piece of Art, proclaims his whole skill to be but weak and worthleſs, and his Judgement inſipid and unſavory. Thus you ſee, that he who boaſts that all others might have been in their A. B. C. without his aſſiſtance, is himſelf ignorant of the firſt Principles of the Science he pretends to. And without doubt had Mr. L. but preſented us with the Figure of this Eclipſe, we ſhould have found it as true, as the other but lately noted.

But be his Figures right or wrong, Mr. L proceeds to judgement (his name I think ſhould properly have been [〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉]) according to his preceding Method (and he propounded none at all) and rufflingly acquaints us—That this Eclipſe will cauſe a great ruffling both of the Dane and Dutch to regain the Sound; but they will ſooner overthrow the great Mogul, or Grand Signior, then reconquer the Sound, out of his poſſeſſion that now hath it in keeping, viz. Charls Guſtavus K. of Sweden, &c. I would gladly demand, how it is poſſible for ſuch particular Actions and Accidents of Princes to be ſpelt, or ſmelt out of Eclipſes of the Moon; ſince the Effects thereof are not by many able Artiſts received for certain, but remain diſputable? Is it not therefore, Intereſt rather then Art, that cauſeth him thus to write? certain it is, Aſtrologers agree—An Artiſt may be enabled to Predict much good, or prejudice, to happen to Perſons from their Nativities truly known: But they conclude it altogether impoſſible for the beſt of Artiſts to point at the particular Perſons, or Places, by whom, or where, they ſhall receive the ſame. And that is the meaning of Ptol. Cent. Aphor. 1. How then dares Mr. L. (without all Authority or Reaſon) prate in ſo high a ſtrain, that is (queſtionleſs) incompetent to any, except God himſelf? But to follow Mr. L. a little further; if we ſhall conſider the force of the M. C. ad ▪ ♄. in the K. of Swedes Nativity, there was a great deal more Reaſon for Mr. L. to have judged, that he ſhould rather loſe the Sound, then keep it. And had not Mr. L. endeavoured to appear Anti-Aſtrological in his writings, he could not but know, that that had been (by far) the more Art-like Prediction. Albeit, Mr. L. goes on, and ſaith—For whom Heavens have ordained Rampant and Victorious, In vain it is for man, or men, to withſtand his riſing. But (ſaith he) ſince we may ſeem to ſpeak in clouds, we intend in this diſcourſe onely the Victorious Armies of his Majeſty of Sweden to be the Perſon ſo powerful, &c. If Mr. L. in all Farnabee's Rhetorique, can but find a figure that doth in the leaſt favour ſo ſtrange a paſſage as this before us, I ſhall acknowledge him better read therein then I am. He intends only the Victorious Armies of his Majeſty of Sweden, to be the Perſon, &c. May not a man (that is not encompaſſed with Mr. L's Clouds) as reaſonably, and with as good ſence, and propriety of ſpeech, in commendation of Mr. L. ſay—By ſuch a Diſcourſe, we onely intend the many unparallel'd Proſelytes of Mr. L. to be the Perſon ſo learned in Aſtrology among us? I appeal to the Judgements of all underſtanding men, whether Mr. L. be guilty of more ſence in the paſſage urged before, then this amounts to. If Mr. L. ever went to School, he cannot but remember that Boys have been whipp'd for far ſmaller faults. But theſe are onely ſlight daſhes of his He-Sparrow's quill, as one of his Antagoniſts, once (in vain) minded him of. But,

—Plus fœtent Stercora mota. (i.)

Dunghils the more you ſtir, the more they ſtink.

Mr. L. after long flattering the K. of Swede, and ſore threatning the Dane, Hollander, &c. if they engage againſt that Victorious Prince whom the Heavens (in his flattering Dialect) have ordain'd Rampant, betakes himſelf to a very convenient ſtartinghole, If in caſe it ſhould ſo fall out, that the K. of Swede do not proſper ſo well, as he Prophecies, &c. And (like a good Chriſtian Aſtrologer, maintains) The beſt Army, or longeſt ſword, hath tho beſt Cauſe. By which it appears, that Mr. L's Religion is as rotten and corrupted, as his Aſtrology and Theurgy unſound.

But to follow Mr. L. a little further yet.—(though not [〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉]) doth he not inſinuate the Hollander, and Dane, to have the beſt cauſe, in caſe the God of Battels give them the Victory over the K. of Sweden? Nay, may we not eſtimate Mr. L's Conſcience to be of ſo large a ſize, that if the Dane or Hollander would but Greaſe him, as the K. of Swede hath done, or but a little more, Mr. L. as the Proverb is, would Claw them again; and in his next Merlin would appear as confident on the ſide of the Magnanimous K. of Denmark, and the High and Mighty States of Holland, as now he hath for the Victorious and Rampant K. of Sweden.

But ſurely Mr. L. cannot be of ſo unſtable a judgement, nor doth he mean, or inſinuate any ſuch thing, as that the Hollander or Dane, can be thought to have the beſt cauſe, although they ſhould fortune to have the longeſt Sword, or beſt Army. And that you may know him to be of a quite contrary Opinion, to what his now cited words import, he burſts into a flattery of the firſt Magnitude for the Swede, to the abſolute ruine of the Hollander, &c. in theſe words.—Beware Hollanders of affronting his Majeſty of Swedens Navy, or Sea-Forces, or his moſt certain Friend the preſent Engliſh L. P. any of his Navy, or particular Ships: His Majeſty of Swede, and our Protector have the moſt maſculine ſpirited Seamen of the whole World, and a gracious Guardian Angel (therein is Mr. Lillies greateſt skill) for to protect both their perſons and forces, &c.—This Eclipſe threatens breach of Peace between England and Holland [how know you that Sir? ♂ and ▪ are therein in Δ; and can Δs in your Aſtrology produce Breaches?] and from thence a War, and that ſo great, as the former may be thought a trifle. Our Noble Sea-men are promiſed Victory, [what, before they have an Enemy to engage againſt?] for in Waters upon the waters, upon people who live like Fiſhes, wholly upon the waters, and ſubſiſt by Seas and waters [Tautology is no ſin with Mr. L.] will the Influence of this Eclipſe take place; therefore our Swediſh Sea-Forces, ſhall tranſmit thouſands of the Dutch Sea-men unto the Fiſhes for their better Nutriment.

Quid dignum tanto feret hic promiſſor hiatu?

Would you the truth of ſuch great Victory?

'Tis Lillie's Guiſe to promiſe his Friends high.

I might demand of Mr. L. (in relation to this his Notorious Non-ſequitur, wherefore he brings his ſtrange therefore? And whether the conſequence would not as roundly have followed, had the premiſes been turned the contrary way? But let Mr. L. go on, and chaunt forth (yet further) his Syren Songs of flattery to the K. of Sweden, and tell him—That he ſhall be as great as Charls the great, &c. the M. C. to the body of Saturn, will prove him to be a perſon that keeps Mendacium as a Page to his Pen and Tongue.

But notwithſtanding this ſo inſolent threat of his to the poor Hollander, If he have but the good hap to get the longest Sword, and the best Army, (they are Mr. L's own words) he hath the beſt Cauſe; And then (if Mr. L. ſay ſooth) he may by this Eclipſe be impowered to tranſmit thouſands of the Swedes Sea-men to feed the Fiſhes; as likely as the Swedes theirs. But I hope both thoſe Nations will be more prudent, then adhere to any ſuch reaſonleſs Flatteries and Threats, as Mr. L's Silly Pamphlets are conſtantly ſtuffed with. So I proceed from his Annual Judgements, to his Menſurnal Fopperies.

Sest. 3. In January he Propheſies—That ſome peremptory Spirits divulge frivolous Tenents, and their Crabby opinions, to the diſturbance of the Magiſtrate in ſeveral places. But there hath as little ſucceſs anſwered this whimſical Preſage, as he had ground in Art to Predict it, the firſt part onely excepted, which he (it may be) foreſaw his own ridiculous ſcribling to make good. He proceeds, and tattles of An eminent perſon to ſuffer diſgrace. Which he may poſſibly interpret to ſome one of the Ladies (for the Sex he mentions not) who were carried to Bridewell upon ſuſpition of diſhoneſty about the beginning of February; for you muſt know his Predictions emit Rayes.

In February, he talks of a Storm to happen to thoſe perſons neer the Sea-ſhore, that are Enemies to the greatneſs of Sweden. But were there any truth in Monethly Predictions (a work at which Mr. L. is old excellent!) how came he to Miſs ſo groſly in this? There was a ſtorm 'tis true, but the heat thereof fell upon the Swedes; which Mr. L. no more foreſaw, then the creeping of the Scotch K. into England. But that you may know him to be the all-ſufficient Aſtrologer of England, he goes on—Some Plot once more in contrivance, to make diviſion, &c. But,— There was no Plot, ſave that which keeps us poor; as Mr. Wharton wittily Noted in his Cal. Eccl. 1659. Ʋnleſs to that we add Mr. L's deſign to diſgrace Aſtrology.

In March Mr. L. Cants after his wonted rate, of Englands Guardian Angel. In ſuch whimſies he ſhould have the right hand of Jo. Blagrave; yet they are confidents of a ſtamp; And God knows, a Guardian Angel may be ſomewhat to Eat, for any knowledge either of them have thereof. But to keep in with the K. of Swede, Mr. L. tells the World, That he is, and will be ſole Master of the Sound. But (a little after ſaith he) we arrive not yet with our pen to the Baltique Sea, &c. As if the Sound were at ſome conſiderable diſtance from the Baltique Sea. I ſee by this, his good Genius doth now and then deceive him. Toward the Moneths end, he writes—Some now flatter our Nation. Which is admirably well verified by his own clawing the late Protector. And is not that a rare Artiſt, that can ſo order his matter, let things fall out which way they will, his Predictions (like a Cat) ſhall still happen right upon their Legs?

In April (as if he were aſhamed of his former clawing humor) he tells us—That there are ſeveral confederacies made againſt the Swede. But how ſhould we credit Mr. L. in this? who are they that dare Confederate againſt him, whom heavens have ordained Rampant and Victorious? Or what ſucceſs in ſuch undertaking can they hope for? When they, not onely fight againſt heaven, but muſt grapple alſo with the dire Amulet of a Guardian Angel, and Mr. L's ſowre Predictions. But he goes on—A Plague or new Diſeaſe, and Pyracy from the Western parts, diviſion, uncertain Rumors and fears, threaten us.—And yet (ſaith he) The Month in general promiſeth fair to City and Country. I confeſs my ſelf ignorant in the Cabal of ſuch a Canting ſtrain. 'Tis juſt like that of the Satyriſts Tyreſias—Quicquid dicam, aut erit, aut non. Whatſoever he ſaith, ſhall either be, or not be.

In May his Ignorance and ſlattery is ſo obvious, that each boy in the ſtreet is able to lend him a ſquib for it. Hear him a little: The Engliſh L. P. now enters upon action, and manifests himſelf to the whole World, that he hath great abilities to govern, &c. And a little after, R. L. P. ſtoops not, is not terrified with words, provides for all occaſions—is made happy with ſeveral moſt welcome News unto him. And behold! The very ſame time that he had Calculated this auſpicious Prediction for, the Protector mildly made a reſignation of his Power, Protectorſhip and all! which Mr. L. being twitted with, in a ſcurrile baſe manner call'd him fool! But 'tis one of the leaſt of his Inſolencies; for ſo he abuſed the preſent Parliament when turn'd out by the Protector Oliver; though to the skyes he had magnified them before. As I may hereafter more largely inform the World of.

In June he ſaith—Some dangerous deſign is now prepared againſt his Highneſs. But here he is proved a lying Prophet; for his Highneſs was laid by the laſt month. In July, he Temporizes, but not fitly, that—the wiſdom of our Protector and Council, gives the whole world occaſion to know, that the preſent affairs of England are in a good poſture. But had we had then a Protector, his Prediction nevertheleſs had proved a lie. For at the ſame time, our affairs were like to have been blown up by the Enemies then among us; witneſs the Cheſhire Inſurrection. But Mr. L. will ſay perhaps that he was to be underſtood by an [〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉]. His Readers ought to be ſo underſtood indeed, when they report him an Aſtrologer.

In Auguſt he feigns—That ſome Church-men, &c. obtain more then vulgar preferment (that they muſt do ſure, if they obtain any at all) yet toward the end he Predicts—That Fryers and Monks ſuff[•]r every where. Now let them either obtain preferment or ſuffer, you ſee Mr. L. hath hit it to a hair; and will ſpeak truth ſtill (in deſpight of the father of Lies) though at a moſt horrible lying rate.

In September, he acquaints the world—That the death of many Commanders may be feared. But this Prediction (if Mr. L. could have hit ſo right) might better have fitted February, at what time ſo many were ſlain at the Storming Copenhagen. He goes on—A ſad doom is preparing and ready to fall upon ſome Northern people; a judgement it is like to be of continuance ('tis no matter, ſo it never come to execution!) not eaſily removable; it ſmells of ſervitude and bondage. Now let the K of Swede be routed, or Rout the Dane, &c. here's a Preſage to fit the foot of either, and Mr. L's credit ſecure. If Captivity overtake him whom Heaven fights for, 'tis no fault of Mr. L's; for he hath diſcharged the part of a good Aſtrologer in this very Prediction. In October, he twattles at the ſame rate. And ſhould it ſo happen that Mr. L's; Lyon Rampant be overcome, he is not the firſt (may Mr. L ſay) that hath been ſo: did not Sampſon ſlay a Lyon?

In November Mr. L. talks as confidently, as vainly—The Swedes are not retired to their Winter Quarters, having ſome honourable work to perform. He had done the K. of Swede more ſervice (and the Art he profeſſeth more honour,) to have acquainted him, that then the Sun will be Eclipſed in Scorpio, neer his Radical place in that K's Nativity. But Merlinus Verax hath done that for him.

To end his Notorious piece of Flattery—In December he concludes Hypothetically—If Carolus Guſtave the Great K. of Swede, write himſelf Rex Danæ, poſſeſſor of Copenhagen, make W. of Brandenburgh repent in Sackcloth and Aſhes, Kick and Cuff the Hogens of Holland out of the Baltique Sea, and Petition his Majeſty (I ſpare the Non-ſence hereof) in Quality of diſtreſſed States; Let them hereafter beware of fighting againſt Providence. Thus ends this Metropolitan Artiſt! and to make an end of following him, I will only demand of him what reaſon be hath (beſides the Gold Chain) to inſiauate the loſs of the K. of Denmark's Crown? did ever any man that had any thing of Art in him, before, conclude it poſſible for that K to looſe his Kingdom, that had the Sun in Aries in the mid-heaven, in Trine to the Aſcendent of which he is Lord? Let Mr. L produce but one Aſtrological reaſon or experiment, and—Erit mihi Magnus Apollo. Nay, he ſhall be (by me) honoured as the ſecond John Baptiſt, which he ſaith is required. But if he cannot, Let him bluſh at his ill-tempered confidence, for broaching ſuch broad-fac'd Barbariſms for Art. By which Penitency, he may obtain a better Opinion of all thoſe, whoſe underſtandings he hath for many years together moſt groſly deluded.

POSTSCRIPT.

IF Mr. L. this next year, write his recantation-Almanack, Let him for his Credit's ſake acquit himſelf (if ſo be he be able) of the ſeveral Errours and Ignorances charged upon him in this Diſcourſe: If he refuſe this advice, and publiſh another Meſs of Flatteries, Falſities, and Non-ſence, in the form of an Almanack; he will then only put me to the trouble of another Examen; and ſuffer his Reputation to run into the Quickſands of a far greater hazard and Danger.

FINIS.

Hereunto is annexed, The NATIVITY of the King of SWEDEN.